At this point I'm convinced that these corporatists at Disney are deliberately out to destroy every last film franchise that had any spirit within it over the last 45 years or so. How this film gets such praise is beyond me. I saw "Raiders" on home video just before "Temple of Doom" hit theaters as a boy. It became my favorite action / adventure film of all time, and rivals"Jaws" as my favorite film of all time. I also loved the first two sequels. However, like most die-hard fans, I can't stand "Crystal Skull," and walked into this film on opening night nervous, but objectively hoping they'd give my childhood cinematic hero the proper send-off. If by proper, had I meant modern, where you can't let a man be competent, strong, and daring, then I guess it fits. But the movie is a dumpster fire. "The Dial of Destiny" is beyond stale. The horrid green screen effects, the CGI, and the ever-condescending Phoebe Waller-Bridge ruin this film completely. You could have cameoed every notable character from the preceding films, and it still wouldn't save this doomed opus. You want this film summed up bluntly? Take the scene in "South Park" where George and Stephen corner Indiana Jones and have their way with him, and multiply it by the tenth power, and you have this mindless, heartless, cash-grab of a film. I adore Harrison Ford, and gave a star for him doing the best he could with a dead-on-arrival script, and I gave a star for Mads Mikkelsen's performance - which was as great as it was underwritten. But that's it. Literally everything else about this movie was them relieving themselves on a cinematic icon - in front of the world. The worst aspect of this film is that it is so poorly written that multiple characters deviate from their established character traits, and say / do things that seem - well - out of character for them. The writing is nothing short of mindless and lazy. Comparable to the bad writing are the rushed and poorly executed special FX. The action scenes in this film make Shia Leboeuf doing his Tarzan impression in "Crystal Skull" look like a welcome cinematic escape. Minus the original "Jurassic Park," and "T2," I've never been much for CGI, but this film really nukes the fridge! (Ha!) Some of the FX were so bad that they felt like a jab at the audience. Then there's the "modern audience" pandering. I'll spare you. Just know that this film is everything that is wrong with movies in this day and age. The good news is that I doubt Disney can make anywhere near their money back on the steaming dump they took on an icon. And I hope they lose so much money that the only place you can find their logo here soon is in a museum. To do this to a character like Indiana Jones in an effort to keep their ESG score up, and keep the blue-haired mob from threatening them, is a sad, disrespectful end to a largely amazing franchise. It's fitting. Cinema is as dead as critical thought, and our icons now perish in fires built by madmen. As Belloq put it in "Raiders," "Indiana Jones - adieu!"

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